Single during the holidays?

Feb 20, 2008 - 09:38 AM PST

What to do when the loneliness of the holidays starts to affect you:

The holidays are here and if you’re single, you are feeling the “table for one” feeling more than ever. Everywhere you look, there are commercials with couples sitting by a fireplace enjoying a glass of wine, eagerly awaiting Mom’s traditional bird coming out of the oven. This time of year is always difficult if you’re single. So, instead of sitting down for solo stuffing and crying in your canned cranberry sauce, pick yourself up and enjoy the holiday for everything that it should be. Don’t waste a second of the holiday thinking about what could be. You’ll be missing out on all the fun!

Here are some ideas that might jumpstart you into feeling better:

#1 Realize that you are NOT alone: There have never been more single people out there then at this very moment in time. Holidays do NOT equal couples. That is just what Hallmark, the media and the consumer industries would like you to believe.

#2 Get the focus OFF of the fact that you are single and put your focus outward: Work for a charitable organization, or serve food at a soup kitchen on the holidays. Nothing gets you out of your funk more than giving to others who are less fortunate.

#3 Invite friends over: This is the time to decorate your home. Yes, decorate! Fill your home with people and anything that is festive. Even if you live in a studio apartment, create an environment. You don’t have to live in a 2.5 million dollar home in order to entertain or have friends and loved ones over. Do not think that for one second you are exempt from this holiday simply because you don’t have a partner. Next year will be a different story. Enjoy this time. Your single status is temporary – if that is what you truly want. Take advantage of the fact that you can do anything you want without having to check in or consult with anyone. Remember, your married friends envy you too!

#4 Book a trip: There are all sorts of deals during the holidays. Grab a single friend, and go somewhere warm and tropical or head to the ski resorts. I know women and men that have done this instead of staying home and actually met their partners on one of these trips!!! Don’t wallow in your loneliness. Get out of your surroundings and go someplace entirely new!

#5 Get in touch with your married friends: Your married and coupled friends are NOT the enemy. I have seen singles literally disappear and disengage from their friends simply because it’s too painful and yes, sometimes nauseating to be around those in love! Being around people in love should inspire you. Besides, singles tend to gather together at these times and commiserate about how terrible and lonely things are. Misery loves company. The best way to find a great relationship is to SPEND TIME WITH PEOPLE WHO KNOW HOW TO HAVE ONE! It’s catchy. Be around happiness, some of it JUST might rub off on you. Stick around depression and people who are bitter and complaining, and some of that is BOUND to rub off on you too!

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