Thanks for the Crazy Nap, Lunar Eclipse.

Feb 20, 2008 - 19:26 PM PST

Wow. I just woke up, thinking some of these things were real until I went out ant looked at the Lunar eclipse.

Alright so, I dont remember the exact order but I think it went in some sort of way like this:
professor-eagle-miny-theater-bus-train
(hadda put it down so I didnt forget)

kso, I was walking around campus at night and kept getting calls from a professor I apparently had at the college (who, to the best of my knowledge, doesnt really exist). Then, Nick, I, and a bunch of friends decided to go a the beach to watch the lunar eclipse, when the "professor" showed up. He looked like... I dont know... what one would imagine a 20 yr old Severus Snape to look like, I guess. But Half Japanese.
Anyway, I walked out on the dock with Nick to wait for the moon to come up and he had to leave real quick to get something. So then the professor guy approaches me from behind and then all of a sudden, the ground shakes and all of these crows and other birds burst out of a groundcave close to the beach shore about 20 ft from me. I sort of gasp and think its cool, and then this gigantic (20+ ft wing span) bald eagle busts out and skims the water. Just at that time, professor guy grabs my hand and tries to kiss me. He then gets surprised by the monster-eagle and falls in the water at same time as I take a step backwards trying to get away from him to avoid the kiss. I'm pulled in too but I remember thinking that he pulled me in intentionally.
Then all of a sudden I wake up at "home" (didnt look anything like my house, but was home). So I go to the bathroom and am sitting in front of the tiny heater in there when a little kitten version of my old gray cat starts squeezing through the keyhole in the door (which apparently exists now). He guts stuck halfway and I try to pull him all the way through. I eventually pull it all the way through but its spine is broken and its making all these terrible sounds. It eventually jumps out of my hands and onto a bathroom couter. Then, when I look over, its turned into my sick old yuck-dog miny. The spine is more straight but her face is all contorted and she is making grosser sounds that usual. I was crying and upset and took her to my parents. Then I look to see what they are watching on TV. On the news and there is footage of a huuuge eagle swooping down and picking up deer, and otters clinging to fences, and dolphins, and all manner of other things. Some of the footage is also from what I saw on the beach. So I start pointing and saying stuff like "omg look, thats the eagle that knocked me off the dock! isnt it huge?" Then the otter clinging to a fence starts screaming and the footage gets really gorey and my mom thinks I'm disgusting and morbid.
Then, for some reason I've left the house and am in green and purple spandex and am outside of a theater. All these women are snickering at me (in similar costume) saying that I'm inadequate and that I'll never pull of She-Hulk. I didnt know what they were talking about, because that was just what I was wearing apparently. But then I get dragged into a dressing room around the side of the theater by a morbidly obese guy and I'm tossed onto a bed or a cushy couch and all of these people start doing my hair and makeup. Then, my top starts to come down and one of the guys made fun of me so I tried to pull it up and accidentally ended up exposing myself.
So I'm embarassed and I leave to start walking through the theater and I see a bunch of my highschool friends working as ushers and cleaning up the aisles. Its awkward to talk to them again, and they are all looking at me like I'm famous or amazing and its even more awkward, so I leave the whole building. I look outside and on the front of the theater is some big sign for a play based on a book that alec baldwin and some other-less-famous-comedian wrote together about cooking. Based on the picture on the cover of the book (which ends up in my hands) and the poster, I realized that alec baldwin was the morbidly obese guy, he was just in a fat suit. So I'm all surprised and pseudoproffessor Snape is back saying "Inorite?"
Then all of a sudden, I'm at home again, I said something to make Chance cry (because he is a human faucet that cries at the drop of a hat) and there is a huge commotion going on. A bus is driving through my front yard and some machine is tearing out our whole garden. I freak out and ask "Is that bus driving next to our window?" and my parents say, "oh yeah, its just the parade". So I go outside and the whole town is basically leveled except for the houses. All these vehicles are running around and snaking between everyone's houses. Then some people open the doors to a second bus that is coming through my yard and everyone from the dream previously(except alec baldwin) is beckoning me to get on.
So I get on and some old guy is driving it until we end up in the parking lot of an amusement park. He tells us all to get out and then leads us through the park until we get to a big train. I, the driver, and a few other people who I cant remember get on the train. He starts driving on the tracks but then falls off on a corner. Then he just steers the train right back onto the tracks and things seem to be smoother until we get to a bridge. He falls off the tracks again, right before the bridge. He tries to get back on the tracks, but only manages to get one wheel on. He figures this is enough and starts drving across the bridge (which is just two traintracks across a huge cloudy hole). He slows down and gets worried and the train starts to wobble and acts like its going to fall off. I yell at him to go faster, the train rights itself and we are able to cross the bridge. Then, he has built up so much speed that he flips the train on a corner when I yell at him to stop. So, after all this, I'm sitting there in the snow like... "wtf."

Then Nick called (for realsies) to tell me the eclipse had started and I was all "orly? " and got up to see it and eat some garlic bread.

The End!