That One Little Spot...

Apr 02, 2008 - 13:40 PM PST

Well Dylan wanted to break up with me the other day [if you wanna know the whole story then just messege me]and it scared the shit out of me because I found myself in the same position I was in with Ben [if you wanna hear that story messege me]. Sitting on my floor, crying my eyes out, and begging him not to leave me. It scares me because if I'm doing for him the same thing I did for Ben then I must love Dylan a lot more than I think I do which makes me feel happy and at the same time kinda worried because I don't want to get soo hurt again. I mean, is it right to love somebody so much when you've only been going out for barely a month? Is it even safe when thinking of the conditions I was in after Ben left me? God, it makes me wonder if I'm just so desperate for that one "promising" relation again. I also realized yesturday while writing a note to a friend that I blame all the guys who have ever broken up with me for "leaving me because of me" and I used to think it was true but I was trying to list them off it just kinda went "Ben, ..." Ben is the only guy who has ever actualy hurt me so much it broke my heart, I mean i've had smaller heart breaks from guys like Zac and Sean but Ben was the biggest that ever happend to me. Just kinda wanted to let that out there. Toddles :]

~:Tara:♥sU™

P.S. I love you, Dylan.