The beauty of being alone

Mar 23, 2008 - 21:47 PM PST

Sometimes I love being alone. A moment spent alone often produces a better perspective on so many levels of life. Last saturday I told everyone I had made plans with that I was going to stay home and spend some time gathering and organizing my thoughts into some sort of coherent pattern and then maybe do some thins that I had been putting off for so long ( being the procrastinator that I am).
SO saturday rolls around, and I wake up to my own body clock, as oppose to the obnoxious alarm clock I strategically place right next to my ear every other day of my life. Automatically I know this day is golden. I roll out of bed, trudge into the bathroom and brush my teeth. Throwing on my sneakers and unplugging my ipod, I run out the door (literally) and proceed to go for my morning run which always makes me happy(endorphins). Jumping in the shower, I realize I can take all the time I want because I have nowhere to rush to and no one else to think about when it comes to hogging all of the hot water. Happiness is mounting. I take my dandy little time getting dressed in some comfy sweats and turn the music up as loud as possible, all the while singing into my brush like a maniac ( you've done it so don't you judge now haha).
Finally I "settle down" and begin to set up my canvas and acrylics. It's been so long since I even dared to think of painting again...life seems to tick to a clock ten times faster than mine sometimes. I put on some good mood music, and begin to paint the most beautiful city in the entire world...New York. Being away from it helped me seen even more the beauty it holds for me...my home. I took a picture in the middle of time square last christmas when I was home, and it came out so perfectly that I thought it deserved to be pained as well.

Five hours later.... the painting was coming along perfectly although it still had a long way to go. But the beauty wasn't actually in the painting...rather it was in the time spent thinking and not thinking...allowing myself to breathe and exhale and dream again...the beauty was in the time spent alone.

Seeing the difference between being alone and feeling alone is key to developing your sense of self concept...and it made me smile that day to think of just how far I had come...