The pros and cons of sleeping with your ex.

Feb 20, 2008 - 09:49 AM PST

It can be a night to remember or a night to regret. It all depends on why you split up in the first place. Some relationships end simply due to distance or timing. Perhaps there was nothing wrong with the relationship and intimacy was always great between you.

There are things to consider here before you embark on a one-night romp down memory lane.

Remember, sex comes with complications. Actually, sex isn’t complicated at all-- it’s all the emotions that come with it. It’s an adult game, so don’t play it unless the two of you have an understanding of what this would mean after the fact. It’s always one thing after a few cocktails under the moonlight and a whole other thing in the sober, glaring light of day.

First of all, don’t be selfish here. You need to be responsible and thoughtful. If you were the one who left the other with a broken heart, you might want to take a step back before you involve feelings again. Have your feelings changed? Do you want this person back in your life? It’s not fair to pull someone back in simply because you have an itch or idle curiosity.

On the other hand, if you’re both mature and in a happy place in your lives and you know you can handle it, then a roll in the hay with Mr. or Mrs. Yesterday might be something good for both of you. Just be honest and clear with yourself and each other. The upswing is that you already have a short hand and familiarity with one another, leaving out the uncertainty that comes with sleeping with someone for the first time. Although some couples have put the relationship back on track after a night like this, it’s very rare that both parties are on the same page at the same time. Women bond with sex, so unless you’re made of stone, it’s very difficult to sleep with your ex and disconnect the next day. Don’t kid yourself and think you can secretly get him back this way. It will backfire for sure and you’ll only end up getting hurt.

The best advice I can give you is to know yourself and have a full understanding of what you’re capable of. There is no right or wrong here. Sometimes a look back helps you to look forward once and for all. Who knows? Perhaps sex with the ex will remind you of all the reasons why you should have never left, or be just the thing that gets you back on your feet and ready for a brand new love.

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