this is a delicate unraveling.

Jan 31, 2008 - 22:47 PM PST

When did you realize what you were supposed to be?

Today I became irritated when an acquaintance sent me a myspace message about my ambitions: "What are you passionate about? What do you want to be? What do you want to do?"

I initially figured I was bothered by the fact that he doesn't even know me and he's randomly asking me these probing questions. But it really isn't in my nature to get mad at someone for something that silly. I then realized I was bothered because I knew NONE of the answers.

I've never felt passionate about anything in particular. I think I am a passionate person but it is spread out over a bunch of stuff. This is why I am having a hard time choosing what to spend the next couple of years studying. I want to work in film. I want to work in modeling. I want to work for a magazine. I want to work in fashion. I want to see South Africa. Austrailia. Asia. Europe.

Four years ago I began college. I'll soon have my 2 year degree and am pretty sure I'll be taking time off again in the fall because I don't know where to go from here. It is driving me crazy because I want to start working and making a name for myself and be around creative types. I am ready! But I need to finish school.

Please tell me some of you guys are as lost as I am. It is a terrible feeling to know you are destined for something bigger than what you are but can't find it.

[This whole post sounds kind of melancholy. I am by no means a sad person, this is just something that is on my mind all the time! ]