Thoughts at almost 3AM.

Jan 02, 2008 - 23:40 PM PST

its weird how on here it has a portfolio and says upload artwork and the first thing when i hear artwork i imagine a huge canvas with colorful strokes of paint that are suppose to be life changing. Then i realized I dont have any of that to share, my art is cakes, cupcakes, cookies. Interesting how there are so many aspects to a 3-letter word. How powerful a small word is.
This is basically the first time I've ever written a blog that isn't about a concert.
I am sitting here at 2:30AM listening to this fabulous CD named trampoline by a wonderful named Steel Train. Today I noticed how much music I have collected over the past year or two and how diverse my collection is. It's remarkable how much music has changed my life, how many friends its brought me, how much its helped me during the roughest times in my life, brought me experiences i could only dream of. Most of all how many musicians I have met and how much I've actually seen through music.


Today my dad told me he liked my ideas for my bakery. I am not gonna share what they are cause they are pretty personal but it was the first time telling someone besides my close friend Katy about them. My brother mocked me, however, and told me it has already been done. I don't think he really understands the difference between a bakery and a cafe. I do not want to open a cafe. If i wanted to serve coffee i would work at starbucks or caribou.

2 months ago today I was in the hospital. At night sometimes I see the images of me in there with IVs in both arms, paler then ever, unable to walk. But its weird cause I see them from a third person's perspective but I knew what I looked like. To me honest, they scare the shit out of me. For how much crap I give myself, I never want to see myself as miserable as I was.

end of ramble. grammatical errors are quirks.