True friends = true self

Mar 11, 2008 - 18:24 PM PST

It sucks when you realize that your friends aren't really necessarily good for you. Your friends can influence you but when do they cross the line in their pressure to make you lose what you love about yourself. It hurts when I realize that some people just aren't willing to accept me as I am and I tend to blame myself basically for being myself. I can wish to be some other person but that doesn't make me feel any better about the situation. I need to remind myself sometimes that I need to accept that I should be okay also with who I am. I dont have to ignore my flaws but its pointless to just simply wish to be someone else. I can't be anyone else besides myself and I would be kidding myself if I thought I could redefine myself completely.

I have this theory about good friends. They are the people who are there for you when its time to clean up. This can be taken in the literally in that they are the ones who will stay to help clean up after a party or do the dishes after dinner. They are also the people who are there for you when a break up happens, when someone dies, when you just need to vent. They are the people who are there to help pick up the pieces of your life and show you that its not always as much of a mess as you really think it is. Its a weird thing to associate something like cleaning with a good friend but honestly, all of my best friends/true friends have met this criteria without even knowing about it.

True friends are also rare. They don't come around all the time. I know a bunch of people but only a few well enough to tell them about my family, my flaws, my fears, my hopes. And only a few have shared those things with me. I am glad that no matter what, I can always count on these two or three people to be there and I am glad that they know that I would be there in a heartbeat for them and they don't need to ask to know this.

When I have these true friends, I don't need to hide any part of me. Sure they are annoyed by certain aspects of me, but they aren't pressuring me to be someone I am not in order to avoid those annoying (yet endearing) aspects of my self.