Weighing me down...

Feb 07, 2008 - 08:30 AM PST

I am feeling rather off today. I have a lot weighing on my mind and as usual I am not sure where to start trying to get it all stored away where it should be. So I decided to start here. Writing out my thoughts always seems to help to store them all away properly and if you know me at all, you know that I am obsessive about having things properly stored away in the pockets of my mind.

Item number one: Life responsibilities. We have just arrived home from a week long trip to a place that definitely had it's magical moments to complete chaos. I don't deal in chaos. I hate it. It's not orderly. It's not fun for me. I need organization and planning and to not be bombarded with the million and one things that have to bought and made for the kids on top of the family obligations that have to be met. I need a day off. I need a break to organize and plan my atack on the growing mountain of bullshit that has piled up around my feet in the past 36 hours. Time to find myself a trusty pen and a cute notebook and set my mind to writing all the lists of things that need to be taken care of.

Item number two: Issues with a friend. Well not actually with the friend. The issues are inside myself. I just need to figure out what exactly I am looking for and stick to that no matter where it leads me. We both know that the situation between us isn't going to change drastically but things have changed. And they are about to change more. I refuse to let that friend change their moral code and the values that make them who they are because of me. My decision has been made, it is just a matter of implementing said decision. Pull back. Put up a wall...a thick one. And not allow myself to cross any lines...imaginary or real. Who knows? Maybe it won't end up being as hard as I think it will be. I always tend to think the worst of situations anyway.

Item number three: Work Issues. These are not really issues because I love my job. I just need to get better at doing it instead of procrastinating and doing other things. My job is pretty slack sometimes. Well, most of the time. I have a lot of free time and no one ever looking over my shoulder to make sure things are getting done when they should (I suck at deadlines). So I need to work on my responsibilities and my priorities and stop with the personal communications when I probably should be finding some work to do around here.

So that is about it and I feel better now. I am still pretty bogged down but it feels good to lift the weights off my chest for a moment. I am not quite so stressed out anymore. So here are my goals for today...make lists, put up a wall, focus on work. Got it. I can do that. I am off to work on those goals. I'll let you know how they go.