what i want

Apr 06, 2008 - 10:00 AM PST

Life would be so much simpler if I knew what I wanted. So that guy I liked totally stayed up with me until 6 am and told me how attractive I was and he asked for my number and nibbled on my fingers (?) but totally no follow through. He went home for spring break, we texted a bit. He ignored me when he came home, called me twice and then told me it wasn't a good idea for me to try to date him....? what's that about? was he trying to hook up with me and I just didn't fall for it..? I have my theories like he's just not that into me oh well next! He's still hung up on the last girl he was with who broke his heart, I'm sad for him because I'm over my last heartbreak and it sucks to still be there. I've been working at Vector for a year and still haven't fully committed so I am making no money and I need to stop putting the management team through my emotional ups and downs and indecision. But every time I am about to quit my manager talks me out of it. Boy is he good!! I was going to sneak into the office and leave a resignation letter and the key but then some things reminded me about what I love about my job and now I don't know what I want again. I'm pretty sure I know I want to be a teach though. I've just been in denial for a while. I just don't know how I want to do it... if I stay with Vector I will apply to WWU and start full time this winter. If I get a waitress/barista job (i know!!! everyone wants experience) or get that job at my best friends boyfriends work I will start right away this summer going part time. So many scenarios. Wasn't it John Cusack in High Fidelity who talked about how keeping your options open is suicide or something like that. Well he was right. So to practice writing we're going to start by doing profiles of my roomies but that is another entry That novel is way behind too....I have to decide the plot lol Rach