When I worry..

Jul 10, 2008 - 21:09 PM PST

I’m drifting against myself
And I don’t recognize
A face I am unable to recall as my own
A life once held now drifting farther than I thought able.
And I am scared,
I know not what will happen to me amongst these waters
Far too deep to reach the bottom
Yet inviting
I pause to turn back each day
Yet continue
And I wonder why
Why do I feel the need to continue to walk where the earth is unknown
The road unfamiliar
The life unforgiving
If lost devastation
Giving up alone and safety
For open and survival
Sutured again I battle
For the beat of a heart I was unaware existed
And now question
I am tired for ideas
And weary of wear
I no longer hold the capacity
For forgiveness
And again worry
For failure
My longtime friend
So comforting in a world
Of pretend
One I was never able
To survive