When it's finally done

Mar 14, 2008 - 02:26 AM PST

Today it all ended. Finally. I say finally not in a relieved way. Or maybe it is. I really haven't figured that part out yet. I told him that after this one task was done, that was it, and I wasn't going to contact him anymore. Even though I'm with someone else now, someone who I love and respect very much, I was still so hurt by finding out. What IS that? Is that me being completely selfish and wanting my cake and eating it too? Do I feel like if things didn't work out for us, then they shouldn't work out for him with anyone else?

It is selfish. Yet...I can't help it.

What's WORSE is that I am horrible at hiding my feelings. So, in all this mess of me being hurt and yada yada, I also have hurt the person I'm with now because he thinks I am not over him. Maybe I'm not. Or perhaps I'm just not over the fact that everything I believed for two years, everything that I knew, is gone.