WHEN THINGS GET TENSE

Feb 20, 2008 - 11:22 AM PST

A popular recording artist once told me that my playing sounded like I was from my hometown of Claremont. His words were not meant to be a compliment, and I was left feeling totally invalidated and very hurt. Things were never the same after that, and soon thereafter I left that high profile gig with my self-confidence torn apart. My playing suffered as a result, and it took a while to recover from the experience. Looking back, I wish that I had possessed the skills to handle the situation more effectively.

Youth and inexperience can be a bad combination when there is money on the line and the pressure to deliver. In my case, the newly signed artist lacked the ability to clearly articulate or demonstrate what he wanted. After hours of going over the same 8 bars he blew up and went on the attack.

So, what do you do when things are not going well and everyone is frustrated? Well, the first thing NOT to do is get personal! Remember, we are all human and a few harsh words have the potential to cost you future opportunities.

Here are a few tips for navigating through bumpy terrain:

1. Take a break. Ask for 10 minutes to clear your head and go get some fresh air.
2. Ask to hear an example of what you are being asked to do. (In my case, if I could have heard the tune, I could have played it.)
3. Ask one of the band members to demonstrate for you.
4. Slow down. A lot of problems can be worked out at a slower tempo.
5. Ask to move on to something else and work out the problem later.

Even the best artists in the world have moments where they simply cannot execute what they are being asked to do. Music is supposed to be fun and connect you with other people. When things get tense, diffuse the situation by using one of the tips above. Ideally the tension will subside and everyone will learn and grow from the experience. If that doesn’t work, and you find yourself being made to feel inadequate over and over again, you might not be in the right situation. Try other avenues. Remember, you are responsible for taking care of yourself and working in environments that inspire you to be the best you can be!

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