Why I am a Christian...

Mar 26, 2008 - 14:36 PM PST

I am taking a class this semester called "Philosophy, Literature and Life after Baylor" which is basically a discussion about our lives and the different aspects of them. I recently had to write a paper on my "spiritual space" where I relayed my faith journey up until this point in my life. The professor returned the essay today and I feel inclined to share it with this community. It is a long paper, so if you do not feel the desire to read it, no worries. On a side note, please don't think if it as a persuasive paper, it is merely informative, and I just feel like sharing it.

Matthew 18:12-14
I like to think that my faith journey began before I was born. My mother enjoys telling a story of being pregnant with me, when one morning my older brother Jeremy, who was 4 at the time, came downstairs and told her that “God told him he was going to have a little sister.” Lo and behold that September there I was. I like this story because it reminds me that God is always present in my life, even before I was aware of it.

I was raised in a “Christian” home. My parents were attending a Presbyterian church when I was born, my uncle is a Presbyterian minister, and when I was two months old he baptized me in front of a congregation that I consider to be my home church. We moved from that community when I was seven and found a new church home, which was also Presbyterian, but more conservative in my viewpoint. It was here that I began to understand that community is the most important part of pursuing God’s will. I was confirmed into the Presbyterian Church and have not joined a church body since the 8th grade, so I still consider myself a Presbyterian. When I was thirteen we moved to Texas and attended a Methodist church. The next four years of my life were minimally spiritual. Which is ironic, considering I moved from California, a somewhat anti-Christian community to the Bible Belt. I was not active in church while I was in high school, which made my decision to come to Baylor a shock to some. Ironically, though, I can remember feeling God tugging at my heart during those years. So there I was, getting ready to graduate high school and set out on my own without any sense of spiritual direction. Needless to say my first year of college was a learning experience.


When I started my journey at Baylor I was not anti-religion in any way. I believed in God, I knew that he existed, I just didn’t consider Him in any of my decision making. In my freshman year I made great friends, and we had the quintessential college experience. Fraternity parties, house parties, staying up late, and all the other stereotypical things that go along with college. I deem that the low-point in my roller-coaster of faith. Looking back, I see that it was in that valley where God began to reach me. Up until that point I had no interest in going to church while at Baylor. I had visited some at the beginning of the fall semester, but it was much easier to sleep in on Sundays when I had been partying the night before. The last Sunday of the spring semester, God led me back to a local Presbyterian church, not one that I attend, but just to remind me that He was around. The pivotal moment in my faith journey, where I made my 180 from ignorance of God to wanting to do His work was in the summer of 2005.


I was working for the Southwestern Company selling books door-to-door in a tiny town in Minnesota. We worked 80 or more hours a week, six days a week, and it was very intense. Many of the people I worked with were incredibly spiritual and devoted to God. We had meetings as a group every Sunday, and there was always a worship time included in each meeting. The first Sunday I was out on the “book-field” during worship time, my roommate Amanda, came over to me and told me that God had laid a verse on her heart for me. That verse was the 31st chapter of Proverbs. The idea that after the craziness of my past year in school, God would still consider me a righteous woman blows my mind to this day. I began to look to God for guidance and comfort from that point on. Less than two weeks later I had a series of car accidents that culminated in me totaling my vehicle on a state highway and emerging from the accident with a small cut on my head. God was so gracious to me, to spare my life, and to spare me any serious injury. For that blessing I am continually grateful.


When I came back from that summer, I was different. I wanted to go to church. I thirsted for a sense of Christian community. I began to attend Antioch Community Church here in Waco. Coincidentally, most of my “book-friends” attended the church. I spent the next year at Antioch and it was incredible. During my time at Antioch I learned to have faith in God, I learned to listen for His word, and most of all I learned that He loved me even when I was doing nothing to glorify Him. I remember describing my journey at that point as “the lost lamb who wandered back into the fold” and I was lovingly corrected that the lamb was sought by the Shepherd and was led back. It still boggles my mind that God is so huge, that He would seek me; a rebellious teenager who did nothing for Him for such a long time. That Grace is what motivates me in my faith today. Knowing that God was there even when I did not consider him, and that He was guiding me and protecting me from myself is something that I will continue to cherish until I meet Him at the end of my journey. In the fall of 2005, I felt drawn to join a Christian organization: Sigma Phi Lambda, and in the spring of 2006, I was part of their zeta pledge class.


Phi Lamb has been a major influence on my life, spiritual and otherwise for the last two years. Sigma Phi Lambda is a Christian service sorority in name, however when I describe it to prospective members I emphasize the Christian fellowship that comes out if it. In reality it’s just a group of girls who seek God and who love each other in His name. Phi Lamb has grown me in my faith in so many ways. Until I joined Phi Lamb, I did not know what Christian accountability was, or what it could be. I did not understand how God wanted to work in my life, and though I still don’t completely, looking back I know that he had an amazing plan.

God has put different people and different churches in my life exactly when I needed them. For example, when I began attending FBC Woodway’s college group, I had just broken up with a serious boyfriend, and the pastor was teaching a series on Christian dating. God provides. At that point in my life I was flooded with lessons in dating and love and being a Godly woman. Currently, God is teaching me about being patient and forgiving. He is teaching me to be more gracious with the people I love and to be free with the Christian love that I give. I am more excited now about God and my faith than I have ever been. He continually shows me grace and Himself in new ways, every day. If I had to sum up my “faith position” in a concise phrase, it would be “Love God, love people.” In my mind there is no greater calling than to love one another as Christ loved us. I can only hope to grow in my faith in the future.


I want to spend the rest of my life loving God and loving the people He created. God thought enough of this wandering lamb to seek her and bring her back to the fold, so it is the least I can do, to spend my life glorifying His name and making it great.