The Apple and the Tree

Feb 27, 2008

Before the new year, I had pulled myself together and felt stronger and more sensible than ever. I had forgotten the poisons of my mind and let vanity master the palisade of my heart. I lasted only a year in that blissful, self-imposed sovereignty.

Since, the walls have all come down and the mess once contained is fluttering around my feet for all to see. This love-induced anxiety is almost too much for me to handle. I feel weak and insecure, afraid and exposed, with endless questions and curiosity drawn from the mind and intentions of someone I may never truly understand, but nonetheless had the power to stir up these emotional nuisances.

If any of you knew my mother, you would understand the general fear these chaotic emotions generate - that I could be doomed by my inadequacy of romantic human interaction, to a later life of solitude.