[ view all ]5 COMMENTS

May 13, 2008 - 10:07 AM PST

Franchise

Passing the doors of perception we will find that there is no such thing as fear. Only fear in itself as Roosevelt had pointed out. Is that Stalin on that Basketball players head? Funky stuff. Keep up the great poetry and thought provoking material. 5 stars from me homie.

May 13, 2008 - 12:13 AM PST

lorcas

"They say that deep thoughts should be saved
For later dates
But why not the first date?" I know what you mean. Oh, and yeah ur right about Atmosphere. post more stuff up.

Apr 06, 2008 - 09:29 AM PST

rabidplatypus

vocalillusion

Of course the next part will be the clinic, and I think pregnancy is the best move for the story. What she will do is still undecided, and for my plot twist I have one in mind. I am struggleing to just get this down and not lose my writing style or attitude.

Apr 04, 2008 - 08:27 PM PST

rabidplatypus

vocalillusion

Well all girls are different, and this story has some roots in things that have happened in my life. I really did have a friend that had an episode like that after a bad night, only difference was she did it in the stairwell and I thought the cafe was better for the story. If you haven't yet part 3 is posted.

I am unsure how to continue the story, so any feedback there would be nice.

Apr 02, 2008 - 08:55 PM PST

jadebug

vocalillusion

You're welcome thanks for adding your thoughts there, it's so nice to get feedback from others. Thanks again!! :)

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Runners

Mar 11, 2008

I live in a world of runners

People who saw the door at the top of the mountain
And couldn't resist its secrets

As the brass knob turned
The mahogany creaked like a banshee

Each and everyone took off running
Momentum built up

At every rocky spot they tumbled
Battered and bruised they continued

Until exhaustion set in

The battle hardened shrugged it off
But eventually they dropped their shields

Eyelids grew closer together

Why did I take off running?

Enlightenment

The long journey back
This time up hill, and legs are sore

The doorway screams, failure
But a pass through, creates fearlessness

With clear retrospect thought
Why did I turn and run one thousand miles?
When three steps forward is all it took

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